AIM: Absurdly Irritating Males
by TheEvilBanana
Summary: Response to twilightm00n's challenge! An online battle between Fluffy, Inu and Kouga for Kag's affections. SesshomaruKagome Oneshot


**Response to twilightm00n's Challenge! **

**Requirements:**

-must include an online fight between Sesshomaru, InuYasha, and Kouga for the affections of Kagome, who may or may not be present. Kikyou must also be included.

-does not have to follow original pairings

-must include pocky, ice cream, and badminton

-must be a comedy

**Oh, I didn't really know Kouga's relationship to Sesshy, so…-shrug-**

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

_**Important!**_

I read this story the other day and realized that the uploaded version had cut out chunks of the Word version I had originally typed up. Sorry guys! I tried to fix all the problems.

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**Speedster720 has signed on.**

RamenLuv3r: Hey wolf-breath.

Speedster720: Whaddaya want dog-tud?

Speedster720: turf

Speedster720: turd

RamenLuv3r: ….

RamenLuv3r: That's just sad.

Speedster720: Shut up, half-breed!

RamenLuv3r: Kouga, I need to ask you a very serious question. No jokes.

Speedster720: ...Okayy

RamenLuv3r: Were you born this stupid or were you dropped on your head as a child?

Speedster720: FUCKIN' MUTT

RamenLuv3r: rofl

RamenLuv3r: So, how'd practice go for ya?

Speedster720: eh? Practice? Track's outta season, stupid.

RamenLuv3r: Don't lie to me, I see you practicin every day. Yesterday's mirror conversation was 'Oh Kagome my love, will you be my woman??'

RamenLuv3r: Pathetic

Speedster720: Shut the hell up, you bastard!

RamenLuv3r: Feh, like you have a chance with her anyway. She's obviously got the hots for _me. _

Speedster720: Kagome is _mine, _dog-breath! Not yours, not anybody else's, _mine._ And if you take one step near he I swear I'll rip your heart out so fast you won't even think to scream before you die.

RamenLuv3r: LOLOLOLOL

Speedster720: Arrrrgghhhh!!!!

**Speedster720 has signed off.**

RamenLuv3r: Eh? Kouga?

**Speedster720 is offline and will receive your messages upon signing back on.**

* * *

Speedster720: I give you full and complete permission to torture, maim, and otherwise mutilate your brother. 

WorlDomination666: ….

WorlDomination666: Half-brother, you mindless twit. And I do not need your lowly advice on how to handle him. I've been trying to get the legal documents for torture for years.

Speedster720: Screw the papers! Somebody has to Kill. Him. Before I do!

WorlDomination666: "He" would be rather difficult to kill, "He" is invincible. And if you managed to kill "Him," you would have several billion Christians after you, and not for your 'looks'

Speedster720: alsdkfj;aslfkjldskfj You're just as insufferable as your brother!

WorlDomination666: ….

WorlDomination666: You must honestly be losing it if you would _dare _to make a comparison between that insolent whelp and myself. An act which warrants painful and certain death.

Speedster720: Um, right, sorry Sesshomaru.

WorlDomination666: Hn.

WorlDomination666: You and the imbecile will sort out this problem. Now.

Speedster720: I blocked him.

WorlDomination666: Then _un_block him and start a chatroom. I will referee as needed.

* * *

**Chat session 8123089403 has begun.**

**WorlDomination666 has entered the room.**

**Speedster720 has entered the room**

**RamenLuv3r has entered the room.**

Speedster720: Stupid mutt.

RamenLuv3r: Shut it, wolf!

WorlDomination666: Enough! What is this trivial, petty manner you are now wasting my invaluable time with?

Speedster720: Aside from generally being an asshole…

RamenLuv3r: Icicle up your butt, Sesshy?

WorlDomination666: Silence!

Speedster720: He is trying to take MY Kagome away from me!

WorlDomination: …This entire ordeal is about the issue of a _girl?_

RamenLuv3r: She was never yours, wolf!

Speedster720: Grrrr back off you mangy puppy!

WorlDomination: InuYasha, don't you already have some girl fawning over you?

Speedster720: HAHAHA you mean you don't _knoww???_

WorlDomination: No.

RamenLuv3r: No?

Speedster720: lololololololol Check it out dog-breath (insult not intended for you, Sesshomaru)

Speedster720: go to www. pslightly-psychotic. com

RamenLuv3r: Hahaha, you're afraid of my brother.

RamenLuv3r: WTF

RamenLuv3r: WHAT THE FUCK

Speedster720: HAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA

RamenLuv3r: It's covered in fucking "I love Johnny Depp" icons!!

Speedster720: HAHAHAHAHA serves ya right, ya stupid mutt!

RamenLuv3r: Shut the hell up!

WorlDomination666: I admit, even I find this amusing.

Speedster720: …

RamenLuv3r: …

RamenLuv3r: This is…this is….monumental…Sesshomaru….laughing…

Speedster720: Yeah, laughin' at YOU, puppy!

WorlDomination666: Do _not _assume this means I am any less….._violent_

Speedster720: Never!

RamenLuv3r: Haha, that's right, wolfy, be afraid

WorlDomination666: InuYasha.

RamenLuv3r: Eh?

WorlDomination666: I believe I have a very simple solution to this….problem.

WorlDomination666: You see, Kagome cannot belong to either of you. She. Is. Mine.

RamenLuv3r: WTH?!?!

Speedster720: WTF!?!?!

RamenLuv3r: Sesshomaru you prick, back offa Kagome, ya'hear! Or I'll kill ya!

Speedster720: Yeah! What he said!

WorlDomination666: -shrug- Why don't you ask her who she prefers?

**SacredSorceress has been invited.**

**SacredSorceress has entered the room.**

Speedster720: Kagome! Will you be my woman??

RamenLuv3r: Shut the hell up Kouga.

RamenLuv3r: What he means, Kagome, is we would like to know which one of us you like…wolf-breath over here can't seem to get it through his head that you like me more than him

SacredSorceress: Um…hi guys…

Speedster720: Hi Kagome!

RamenLuv3r: Hi Kagome!

Speedster720: Hah, I beat you.

RamenLuv3r: ….That's mature

SacredSorceress: Uh…what were you guys saying before..?

RamenLuv3r: Oh yeah, well, we just wanted to know, which one of us do ya like?

SacredSorceress: Oh! Umm…well…

SacredSorceress: You see, I couldn't like either you, InuYasha, or Kouga….because…I have a crush on….Sesshomaru

WorlDomination666: _Do_ you, now?

Speedster720: WTH??!

RamenLuv3r: WTF!?!

SacredSorceress: WTFH! Sesshomaru! I didn't know _you _were in the chatroom!

SacredSorceress: Shit.

SacredSorceress: Sorry.

WorlDomination666: Hn.

Speedster720: But-but Kagome! How could you??

RamenLuv3r: He's a total ice prince!

SacredSorceress: Um….Sesshomaru, could you leave? This is awkward enough as it is.

WorlDomination666: Hn.

**WorlDomination666 has left the room.**

Speedster720: So what's the deal Kagome? How could you fall for a prick like that??

SacredSorceress: Well, for one thing…He's athletic

Speedster720: WHAT?? I'm on track in case you haven't realized!!

SacredSorceress: -shrug- Sesshomaru weight lifts

RamenLuv3r: And what about me?? I'm on badminton team!

SacredSorceress:…Inuyasha, badminton is like tennis for the slow people. If that's your idea of impressive…

Speedster720: But Kagome! I gave you gifts! When has Sesshomaru ever done that??

SacredSorceress: You did?

Speedster720: Yes! On Valentine's day! Strawberry dipped Pocky, your favorite!

SacredSorceress: I thought that was a joke. I'm allergic to strawberries

RamenLuv3r: HAHAHAHAHA man I _really _got you on that one, Kouga

Speedster720: You stupid dog! I'll kill you!

SacredSorceress: I think I'll leave now...bye guys!

Speedster720: Bye Kagome…

RamenLuv3r: Later Kags

Speedster720: YOU MANGY DOG, I'LL KILL YOU!!

**SacredSorceress has left the room.**

* * *

SacredSorceress: Um…do you want to go for ice cream some time? 

WorlDomination666: Hn.

WorlDomination666: No strawberries, correct?

SacredSorceress: Right.

WorlDomination: Friday, then.

* * *

**Das Ende. **

**You know what to do **


End file.
